Why do I always feel the way I do? I haven't written on here in months, and I don't know why. I guess it's because I never feel like writing helps me. I have never liked writing, especially when it's journaling...I have never been one to keep a diary or anything of the sort.
I have had so much on my mind lately that I feel I'm going crazy talking to myself so much. I am worried about so many things, and stressed about life in general. I feel so far away from God right now, and I don't know how to get back close to Him...I see those around me and how close they seem to be to Him, and I feel like I don't compare. I have always wanted to feel that closeness, and I have at times, yet most of the time I feel far away...
My baby sister is soon to be born. This alone is adding to my worry daily. I worry about my Mom and how she is dealing with everything. I worry about the life that this little girl is going to lead. I know that I need to put my faith in God about all of these things, but I don't know how...
I feel alone.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Missing Home
So, today I realized how much I miss home. I miss seeing my siblings. It feels like it's been forever since I have seen them, even though its only been three almost four weeks. I am not used to going more than a couple weeks without seeing them. Abigail just turned 6 months old last friday. She is getting so big! Hannah is as cute as ever, and I miss seeing her smiling face. I miss my brothers, and my sister Linda too. I hope I get to go home soon. I can't wait till this term in over so I can have a break and go see my family.
I am just feeling a little homesick :(
Kir
I am just feeling a little homesick :(
Kir
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Accepted :)
So, last week I received a letter from the College of Ed...and I got in!!! I'm so excited that I am finally about to embark on the last part of my journey through college. It is such a relief to realize this, and realize that by this time next year, I will have one more term and then I will be done with my bachelor's degree, and I will have a teaching license. CRAZY!!!!
So far this term is hell...lol. I don't really enjoy any of my classes, and I have gone to less than half of my 8am class that is twice a week. I feel like I am such a bad student when it comes to that class, but really I have no motivation to go. I don't feel as though I am really missing out on much by not going that often. I did go today, and I have to go on Thursday, so I am hoping I will make it to the rest of the classes for the term. Pray for me :) Other than that class, the rest are going fairly well. I have gotten pretty good test scores for my midterms, well at least the ones I have gotten back already. And I am fairly confident that I did good on my last two midterms, which I have yet to get back.
Life in general has been good. My roomie Allie just got home from being in Thailand for over two weeks. It's nice to have her home :) I missed having her around to talk to. Me and Emily had a good time just chillin at home while she was gone though. Work is going good. I have been getting more hours lately, which I enjoy. I like working, and I like feeling productive.
I miss my family. I wish I could go home more often, but being an adult doesn't give me those privileges. Last week I got to babysit my siblings with the help of Linda of course. It was pretty fun, until my baby sister ran out of milk...My mom ended up being gone longer than planned, and so I got to hold the baby all evening so she wouldn't cry. She was very fussy. But overall, it was a good day. I took my brothers to a birthday party at Splash! That was fun. Linda helped out alot by watching Hannah, and also playing with the boys. I hope I get to see them all again soon.
Well, it's about time for me to go to class again...but thank God it's my last class for the day, and I don't have to work :) yay!
So far this term is hell...lol. I don't really enjoy any of my classes, and I have gone to less than half of my 8am class that is twice a week. I feel like I am such a bad student when it comes to that class, but really I have no motivation to go. I don't feel as though I am really missing out on much by not going that often. I did go today, and I have to go on Thursday, so I am hoping I will make it to the rest of the classes for the term. Pray for me :) Other than that class, the rest are going fairly well. I have gotten pretty good test scores for my midterms, well at least the ones I have gotten back already. And I am fairly confident that I did good on my last two midterms, which I have yet to get back.
Life in general has been good. My roomie Allie just got home from being in Thailand for over two weeks. It's nice to have her home :) I missed having her around to talk to. Me and Emily had a good time just chillin at home while she was gone though. Work is going good. I have been getting more hours lately, which I enjoy. I like working, and I like feeling productive.
I miss my family. I wish I could go home more often, but being an adult doesn't give me those privileges. Last week I got to babysit my siblings with the help of Linda of course. It was pretty fun, until my baby sister ran out of milk...My mom ended up being gone longer than planned, and so I got to hold the baby all evening so she wouldn't cry. She was very fussy. But overall, it was a good day. I took my brothers to a birthday party at Splash! That was fun. Linda helped out alot by watching Hannah, and also playing with the boys. I hope I get to see them all again soon.
Well, it's about time for me to go to class again...but thank God it's my last class for the day, and I don't have to work :) yay!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
A New Year
It is now 2008. How fast does time fly? geeze. So a lot has changed in the last few weeks of my life, and they are really good changes ;) I a now have new roommate named Emily Ash, and she is pretty much amazing. I love having another person in the house. Having one roomie was driving me up the wall, not that I don't love allie or anything, I just needed more people to be around me, and I needed more personality in the house. I love having 3 of us live in the house. I feel so blessed to have another roomie :)
Besides that, I feel as though I am going to hate this term. I have early classes everyday of the week, which makes it really hard on me, because I like my sleep, and I don't go to bed early enough to get the amount I need to function...So I will probably end up sleeping in my 8am class quite a bit, unless I can find something to keep me awake in the class. Today was the second day, and I didn't even go...I'm so bad. I think I can figure out someway to keep myself occupied in the class though...so who knows how that class will go. The rest of my classes seem to keep me awake fairly well, but I already have tons of reading to do, and I don't know how I am going to keep up with it all.
Anyways. I pray that this term goes well for me, since it is my last regular term in school. Hopefully I will be in the Education Program next term :) Well, I guess this is goodnight, since I do need my sleep :) Loves!
Besides that, I feel as though I am going to hate this term. I have early classes everyday of the week, which makes it really hard on me, because I like my sleep, and I don't go to bed early enough to get the amount I need to function...So I will probably end up sleeping in my 8am class quite a bit, unless I can find something to keep me awake in the class. Today was the second day, and I didn't even go...I'm so bad. I think I can figure out someway to keep myself occupied in the class though...so who knows how that class will go. The rest of my classes seem to keep me awake fairly well, but I already have tons of reading to do, and I don't know how I am going to keep up with it all.
Anyways. I pray that this term goes well for me, since it is my last regular term in school. Hopefully I will be in the Education Program next term :) Well, I guess this is goodnight, since I do need my sleep :) Loves!
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